11/10/2018 at 2:30 pm #84986
Being a total introvert as a teenager I used to make a demoralising list of all my physical faults: small boobs, big thighs, straight mousy hair, spotty back, extreme short sight etc. I was hopeless at sport due to visual and co-ordination problems.
Despite all this I was never bullied at my all girls high school in UK. I only experienced this much earlier in Rhodesia at a mixed school when I was mocked for being a ‘Pom’ and for being a ‘Four Eyes’.
Apart from the additional problem of social media these days I wonder if some of the bullying is an indirect result of all schools being co-educational. I know there are plus factors to this system but we did not have to cope with the continual distractions of the opposite sex during these sensitive adolescent years.12/10/2018 at 5:35 pm #84995
I think a lot of bullying is a milder form of aggression, especially with boys, but with some girls too.
It gives them a mild sense of power, so making them feel good.12/10/2018 at 9:45 pm #84997
I think all young people compete with each other, and try to ‘out-do’ each other in life.
They do this to position themselves advantageously in the ‘pecking order’.
It is instinctive and natural behaviour for most young adults.
Some add brute strength to their efforts, and then we have conventional bullying.
Those with psychopathic tendency will have no qualms about being destructive.
Some will use unfair means, such as guile or trickery, to ‘over power’ or ‘subdue’ others to get ahead, and this is also bullying.
It is especially noticeable when the approach of the bully is to humiliate and denigrate another person in an extreme way, even to instilling fear in to them.
If parents explain all this to their children, it should enable the children to deal more effectively with ‘aggressors’.
Co-educational schools, especially high schools, where young adults are jockeying for those advantageous positions in the pecking order, and lively hormones are hotting up the action, will see a higher proportion of ‘unruly’ behaviour one might think.
I don’t recall it being unduly so in my high school, but the social scene was not the same then.
It was just after WW2, and people were recovering gratefully from that episode.
I think a feeling of relief was engaging the people.
They were more tentative and reserved.
So we didn’t have blatant widespread bullying to contend with.
Some good came out of the evil of war it seems.
But that is far behind us now, and today’s society is stretching every which way.
And now and then the elastic snaps painfully.15/10/2018 at 11:41 am #85011
Bullying behaviour can have a devastating effect on young minds, and then can continue into adult years. There were instances I had, which I believe has coloured my thinking and confidence even into my adult years …virtually till now.
My skin colour was darker than the average …err…. Aussie kid.
(In later years I was admired for my “lovely olive skin“. 🙂
Walking home from school, I had kids of 5, 6, and 7, yelling at me to “”go back on the boat to where I came from.””
They of course, learned it from their parents. There was a lot of racism back then, in part because of the war.
European culture back then, wasn’t trendy like it is now. Plus the war was barely over when I started school. Italians and the like were looked down on, and mocked and insulted.17/10/2018 at 4:27 pm #85045
Salina, I don’t recall such bias against italian immigrants.
I am not saying it didn’t happen, just that I was fortunate enough not to experience it.
I went to a primary school where there were children from many countries.
I don’t recall us ever using such derogatory terms towards each other.
You might be from Melbourne?
That place is, and has always been, a melting pot.
It seethes with every possible emotion.
Some of those emotions are intense, and far less than being an asset.
It is saddening to think that any child’s experiences can be unnecessarily harsh.
The only good side to it all is that it surely made you a better and more understanding person.
I wonder if those who ‘threw’ those remarks at you fared as well?
I rather hope they did, but I also hope that along the way they learned to think and reason, and to regret their past behaviour.
Were you to meet them now, I would hope they would be suitably repentant, and express it to be so.
But the past is the past. We cannot live in it. We cannot change it. We can only learn from it.
So xmas is coming. The weather is fine.
It is time to plan ahead.
It is time to live life, and find enjoyment in all that is happening in your world?
I hope that is a reality for you, and for all who might have lived through any similar distress.
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