Oldies but Goodies

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    These are all ‘oldies but goodies’.
    I hope they might be memorable.

    As I was getting into bed last night, she said, ‘you’re drunk’.
    I said, ‘how do you know’?
    She said, ‘you live next door’.

    Little boy to priest: ‘at bedtime mummy prays for me’.
    Priest to little boy: ‘that’s good, what does she say’?
    Little boy to priest: ‘mummy says, thank god he’s in bed’.

    A family moved in to a house which was next door to a vacant block of land.
    One day, a gang of workers arrived to build a house on the empty block.
    The family’s five year old daughter took an interest in all the activity.
    She spent much of her day observing the men at their work.
    Eventually the men, all of them rough but kind, adopted her as a kind of mascot.
    They let her sit with them while they had their tea and lunch breaks.
    They let her join in their conversations.
    Sometimes they gave her simple jobs to do, to make her feel important.
    At the end of the week they presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
    The little girl took this home to her mother who expressed words of admiration and delight.
    She suggested they use the ‘pay’ the little girl had received to start a savings account for her.
    At the bank, the teller was equally impressed.
    She asked the little girl how she had earned her very own money at such an early age.
    Said the little girl proudly; ‘last week I worked with the men building the house next door’.
    ‘My goodness’, said the teller, ‘and will you be working with them again this week’?
    Little girl: ‘I will if those a**holes at supply deliver the f**kin’ bricks on time..’

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