Short and Sweet

This topic contains 11 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Jen Jen 3 months, 4 weeks ago. This post has been viewed 274 times

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 12 total)
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  • #83845
    Jen
    Jen
    Participant

    Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

    A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ..
    Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche…

    Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
    Both in hospital…one’s in a korma.. The other’s got a dodgy tikka!

    An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan.
    He is making land mines that look like prayer mats.
    It’s doing really well.
    Prophets are going through the roof !!

    A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?’
    Granny replies, bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen??

    Wife gets naked and asks hubby,
    ‘What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?
    Hubby looks her up and down and replies,
    ‘Your sense of humour! WRONG ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner.
    Took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.
    Turns out she was a Slovak.

    Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.
    If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

    #83846
    malmather
    malmather
    Participant

    paddy asked sean “what’s micks surname?”,

    “mick who?”

    #83855
    bettyh Vic
    bettyh Vic
    Participant

    Mick who what? I dont get it? Is he Chinese? (Just a test post as I am having problems)

    #83860
    malmather
    malmather
    Participant

    bettyh,  paddy asked sean what mick’s surname is,  sean asks paddy  “mick who,”?  paddy can’t answer sean because paddy doesn’t know micks surname and if he did he wouldn’t have to ask what micks surname so he couldn’t tell sean which mick he  is talking about  i hope thats clear now

     

    #83864

    Salina
    Participant

    🤣

    #83869

    williamthebold
    Participant

    A few more to brighten a drizzly winter’s day…

    A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?’
    Granny replies, bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen??

    Or… with sincere apology to the ‘fairer sex’…

    Since the snow came, all my wife has done is look through the window.
    If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

    Or,

    Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.
    Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me.
    If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up Irish Whiskey”
    Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
    Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”

    Or, more on Mal’s theme…

    Q: How can you identify an Irish pirate?
    A: He’s the one with patches over both eyes.

    I don’t know why we poke fun at the irish.
    They are solid citizens, and very clever to boot.
    With few exceptions, the ones I have known are worth knowing.
    I would think they have a ‘dig’ at us from time to time too.
    Such friendly rivalry brings something of benefit to us all one hopes!
    I should have begun a separate ‘thread’ for these ‘dollops’ of humour perhaps.
    But the words would be the same. *_*

    #83887
    malmather
    malmather
    Participant

    true william,  the irish are no different than us,  there are thick ones and there are very bright one’s like me lol, however there is the story of the irishman at the music hall  show and a ventriloquist was telling irish jokes when paddy stood up and shouted ”  i’m sick of hearing all these jokes about irishmen being stupid”  the ventriloquist said,  ” i’m sorry sir,  but they are just jokes,  no insult is intended”  “Shut up,  I’m not talking to you,  i’m talking to the little feller on your knee”

    #83888
    Tulip
    Tulip
    Participant

    That is so funny Malmather,thank you!

    #83893

    williamthebold
    Participant

    Don’t know what to say Mal, except thankyou, for making me smile yet again.

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