The real laws of nature

This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by abirdo abirdo 5 months, 3 weeks ago. This post has been viewed 268 times

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  • #82740
    Jen
    Jen
    Participant

    Forget Newton, Galileo and Einstein — here are the real laws of nature

    1. Law of Mechanical Repair — After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

    2. Law of Gravity — Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3. Law of Probability — The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of Random Numbers — If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal, someone always answers.

    5. Supermarket Law — As soon as you get in the shortest line, the cashier will have to call for assistance.

    6. Variation Law — If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

    7. Law of the Bath — When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    8. Law of Close Encounters — The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

    9. Law of the Result — When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

    10. Law of Biomechanics — The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    11. Law of the Theatre & Sports Stadium — At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer or the toilet and who leave  before the end of the game or performance. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance.

    12. The Coffee Law — As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers — If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14. Law of Physical Surfaces — The chances of  a slice of buttered bread or toast landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

    15. Law of Logical Argument — Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

    16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance — If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

    17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking — A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    18. Wilson’s Law of Product Availability — As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

    19. The Law of Time — Everything takes longer than you think.

    20. The Law of Doctors’ Appointments — If you are sick, make an appointment with the doctor. By the time you get there you’ll feel better … but if you don’t make an appointment, you’ll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with pets and the vet also.

    #82741
    abirdo
    abirdo
    Participant

    Oh definitely all of these are so true!! The most annoying and prevalent to me these days are numbers 1 and 9.

    #82746
    Tulip
    Tulip
    Participant

    They are so clever Jen!

    #82747
    Jen
    Jen
    Participant

    LOL Abirdo. Thanks Tulip, agree … wonder who thought them up.

    #82750
    abirdo
    abirdo
    Participant

    I think some of the sayings have been around a while but someone has accumulated them and got them through parliament as Laws!!

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